How to Sound Like Taylor Swift, Step 1: Hire Taylor Swift

Use Taylor Swift’s Tried and True Method to Sound Like a New You

The recently released documentary “folklore – the long pond studio sessions” has taken the music world by storm, as Taylor Swift yet again defied expectations to show complete mastery of a genre previously not in her repertoire.  Many of us have been inspired to try our hands at other musical styles, only to fail miserably and sound like a ridiculous version of ourselves – only much weirder and considerably worse.  (Sideye at you, Chris Gaines..) 
So, how can we mere mortals replicate this seemingly magical feat that Taylor Swift has so artfully pulled off not once, but twice in her still young career?  Here are some tips to help you achieve mastery of other styles without causing the few fans you have to mercilessly meme-ify you on social media for the rest of whatever remains of your fleeting career:
  1. Become a world famous, cult-like celebrity.  This ensures that you will not lose fans as you make your transition to Polka, Reggaeton, or whatever your new sound will be. Recent times have proven beyond all doubt that celebrities can do literally whatever they want and their fans will still worship them with full-on culty zeal.  
  2. Acquire as much wealth as a large corporation.  Many artists neglect this critical step.  Combined with #1, this gives you the clout to get anyone to answer your call (even if they don’t particularly care for the way you sit around drinking wine and philosophizing about your work all the time).  Though they may already be wealthy and famous, they will want to become even more so by association with you. 
    *In “folklore”, the poorest sap in the room was Aaron Dressner with an estimated net worth of $10M.  Jack Antonoff is worth around, oh.. a paltry $25M.  Taylor Swift?  Upwards of $360M.  That’s the kind of influence that gets you any collaborator you want, in any style!
  3. Rather than laboring to sound like the artists you admire, simply hire them to co-write and co-produce your new sound.  Want to sound like Bon Iver or The National, or Frankie Yankovic*, for that matter?  The combination of #1 and #2 make this easy!  Just make the call and ask.  Why create a sound when you can pay someone to borrow theirs?  
    *This step is much easier if the artist is still living.
  4. Get dramatically better at songwriting.  Steps 1-3 really won’t help if you are not a really great songwriter, like we’re talking world class, so spend a little time taking care of that and try to you know care about the craft and what you’re writing about, etc. etc. blah blah you’ve heard this a million times, amirite?  On second thought, maybe this should be #1. 
Making a successful switch to an unfamiliar new genre like Taylor Swift did can be exciting and challenging, but following these quick and easy steps will make the process much smoother and ensure your success.