Choosing The Best Microphone For Your Face Shape

The Best Microphone For You Is The One That Makes You Look Like You Sound Amazing

When deciding which is the best microphone for you and which one warrants the shelling out of your hard-earned cabbage, it’s always been important to consider a few core characteristics; how it sounds for your desired applications, which polar patterns it has, etc.  However, in today’s world where image matters more than.. well, just about anything we can think of.. how a microphone looks in front of your face should be the first and last factor in your microphone-purchasing decision. 
Consider that nowadays, the primary purpose of studio sessions is to allow the artist to record quality TikTok videos and produce buzzworthy Instagram posts!  In light of this obvious fact, choosing an excellent-sounding microphone that looks awkward or unsightly in front of you as you wildly vocalize your raw, heartfelt emotions for the photo op could amount to career disaster.  Here are a few tips to help you narrow down the mind-numbing number of microphone choices:
  • Round – Contrast a round balloon face with long slender microphones for an unforgettable #TBT (Throwback Thursday for you Instagram ignoramuses).  Suggested: Avantone Pro CV12 BLA in shiny red.  Stunning! ~$699
  • Oval – Do you have this face shape?  Kiss yourself!  It looks great with almost any mic.  Suggested: Soyuz 023 Bomblet Deluxe.  Add some sizzle to your reel with this unique form factor and sheen. ~$1,299
  • Square – Buck convention and play to your strengths with a square microphone.  Suggested: Austrian Audio OC818.  It’s pretty and it probably sounds great.  But who cares, really?!  ~$1,099
  • Oblong – Round mics can help your face appear wider and not so weird.  Suggested: Blue Microphones Kiwi.  Wear green accents to compliment this limey little gem! ~$1,999
  • Heart – A fuller, girthy microphone will add weight to your pointy narrow chin.  Suggested: Lauten Audio Eden LT-386.  It positively glimmers!  And you can use the futuristic shock mount to hold your Cristal glass and make your haters weep!